Abundance and Scarcity Mentality

In relationship terms, there's a concept known as the scarcity mentality and its counterpart, the abundance mentality. These terms refer to how a person approaches their current or potential romantic partners.

Having a scarcity mentality means thinking that there are only a handful of people who would be attracted to you. Believing in a dearth of romantic options as far as you're concerned.

Consider a scenario: a guy approaches a girl he finds attractive, hoping to start a relationship or engage in casual sex. He makes his intentions clear, but she rejects him. Instead of backing off, he persists, trying to get her to change her mind. However, this persistence can come across as desperation, which often only hardens the girl's resolve. She might eventually accept him, but more often than not, she won't.

Why doesn't he take the hint or accept the rejection? Possibly because he sees this particular girl as uniquely special, or he can't imagine letting the opportunity to be with her slip away. By placing her on a pedestal, his behavior begins to seem desperate. Is this indicative of a person who regards himself highly?

Now, let’s consider a different scenario.

A guy approaches a girl with the same intentions. She rejects him. Over time, as they become more familiar, he may try again, and still she refuses. This time, he stops pursuing her. Why doesn’t he keep trying until she gives in? Because he understands that there are many other amazing women out there who might be more receptive to him. He’s confident that this one rejection doesn’t mark the end of his romantic possibilities. This confidence is born of his own perceived value. He thinks highly of himself for whatever reason, and this exuded confidence and refusal to be stuck in a state of perpetual pleading for a certain girl, informs his behavior, and, paradoxically, might even make him attractive to her. This is called abundance mentality and is the opposite of a scarcity mentality.

He doesn't persist trying to get a girl to change her "no" for him to a "yes". He respects her decision and moves on to someone else who is willing and ready to "play".