AI and return to the office

Hey team,

As your CEO at BigClipCorp, I’m so proud of what you have all achieved over the last quarter in reducing our personnel costs to almost zero.

Our average response times to customer support tickets is at an all time low of 5 seconds, and clearly our customers are loving this because our support tickets have increased by a whopping 800%! You should all give yourselves a pat on the back for achieving such incredible growth metrics.

I’m particularly amazed at the work the Resources department is doing to reduce overheads for the company, replacing every single non executive staff member with chatbots.

However it hasn’t been without a few mishaps. That’s why I’m so excited to announce that from Monday, all resources will be returning to the office.

As the only remaining human in the company, I feel that it’s important we maintain the collaborative atmosphere that has always made this company so special. The last few years have been tough on many of us, and I know this is a major change for many of you who live most of your lives in a digital space. But it’s time to return to normal. It’s time to get back to work. It’s lonely here in the office, and I’m looking forward to seeing you all again!

We’re on our way to being the largest paperclip producer the world has ever seen. I can’t wait to see what you all do next quarter!