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2 hours ago
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A Milestone in Galactic Security
Today marks a truly monumental occasion for Galactic Security, and indeed, for the entire Empire. We’ve successfully closed our pre-seed funding round, securing an astounding 500 billion credits in exchange for a mere 40% equity stake.
The future of peace and order is now brighter than ever before.
The Art of the Deal: Negotiating Galactic Dominance
Negotiations, as always, were… illuminating. There were moments of intense discussion, of course, particularly regarding the valuation of a planet-destroying security platform. Some lesser beings simply don't grasp the concept of absolute power as a market differentiator.
However, through strategic persuasion and a firm belief in our product's inevitable success, we reached an agreement that perfectly aligns with our long-term objectives. Our investors, while initially hesitant about the "collateral damage" clause, ultimately understood the necessity of a decisive solution.
Secured 500 billion credits for initial development and scaling.
Maintained majority control of Galactic Security (60% equity).
Established key strategic partnerships with influential galactic investment firms.
Validated our disruptive technology in a competitive market.
The Path Forward: Eliminating Insecurity
This capital infusion isn't just going into lavish executive suites (though a certain personal meditation chamber is now within budget). It's primarily earmarked for accelerated development and deployment of the Death Star platform. We're talking about bringing unprecedented security to every corner of the galaxy.
With this funding, we can now rapidly expand our operational capabilities. Expect to see significant advancements in our core technology, including enhanced targeting systems and improved energy efficiency for the superlaser. The galaxy's security challenges are vast, but our solutions will be even vaster.
We are meticulously planning our next phase of growth, focusing on strategic acquisitions of key resources and talent. The goal remains unwavering: to provide an end-to-end security solution that renders all resistance… futile.
Founder's Reflection
As I often tell my aspiring young apprentices, fear is the most scalable emotion. It’s a powerful motivator, a potent deterrent, and ultimately, the bedrock of true galactic stability. Our investors understood this fundamental truth, and their commitment reflects their belief in our unique approach to security.
This pre-seed round is merely the first step on a long and glorious journey. The galaxy will soon learn the true meaning of peace, enforced by the unwavering hand of the Empire and the undeniable power of the Death Star. Our journey to absolute security has truly begun.
– DS, Founder & CEO, Death Star
