Goodbye, for Now

I’m finding it hard to write these days. So instead of feeling guilty, I’m giving myself permission to take a break from writing.

It’s been a bit over three years since I started this blog. It’s brought me new ideas, new friends, new opportunities. In fact, it’s brought me a whole new self—Max Goodbird began as a silly pseudonym, but has grown into a three-dimensional human with his own values and dreams. An increasingly large proportion of my friends refer to me as “Max”.

I started this blog because I felt an immense pressure building inside me. I was brimming with ideas I found tremendously exciting, but had no one to share them with. When I did share (starting with the least-strange ideas), I got either blank stares or vague affirmation—no one around me seemed to be wrestling with the same problems.

In a word: I was lonely.

When I started writing, I decided to be completely earnest and honest. I shared everything from sophomoric philosophical takes to trip reports to my trials with mental health. I even wrote some short fiction.

And people listened! People were interested! Not most people of course, but some tiny slice of the internet started following along. A few read every single article I wrote.

Even better, people started writing back! Readers left thoughtful comments, often challenging my ideas and forcing me to refine them further. Other, bigger blogs discussed my ideas. People I admired from afar reached out to connect. With me!

After about a year of writing, I started meeting up with people in person. I pushed myself to embody the same values I’d embraced online: earnest and honest. My whole personality shifted: self-consciousness turned into confidence, self-reproach into self-acceptance. Ironically, being Max allowed me to be unabashedly myself.

It’s hard to overstate the personal transformation that’s taken place as a result. I’m something like 2-10x happier than when I started, depending how you measure. And while I can’t say with certainty that this blog sits at the root of all that transformation, it was certainly a huge catalyst.

But these days I’m finding it hard to write. I started a company 18 months ago, and recently raised another round of funding; that endeavor takes all the energy my left brain has to offer. The rest of my time is spent playing music, dancing, and building community around Boston (if you’re in town, join us!)

I may still post here occasionally. And I may try dooting around on bluesky (join my tens of followers). But I’m going to shut down paid subs and stop pushing myself to post here regularly. I hope I’ll pick it back up in a year or two, once I have more space to think.

Thanks again for being here. See you on the other side!

—Max

P.S. In my last anniversary post, I promised to write another Church of Reality. That promise has been hanging over my head for about fifteen months now. As a consolation, here’s a half-written article on David Bohm and a flurry of notes on Grothendieck.