Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Bruce Springsteen or Thunder Road by Meatloaf

There is a thing people do on Twitter evidently to build ‘engagement’ because people get engaged nowadays over the most trivial things, either that or they sell the data on to third parties, but it involves asking a question in the form of Minor Rock Band 1 OR Minor Rock Band 2, or type of foodstuff 1 OR type of foodstuff 2, or even type of lingerie 1 VS type of lingerie 2 (VS is put in for extra sauciness)

So of course Illuminati Ganga has done the same, but nobody will engage, even when we ask such burning questions as Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Bruce Springsteen OR Thunder Road by Meatloaf?

Perhaps the problem is that Twitter is not the place for deep introspection regarding important questions of art, so we will have to expand on the subject here.

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Let’s Get Started With The Article!

I started listening to Meatloaf, and Jim Steinman, long after they were past their heyday, in the early 2000s, so I am able to examine him from a standpoint that others who experienced him when he was current might not be able to.

One thing you always hear in discussion of these two artists (Meatloaf and Steinman) is how absurd and ridiculous they are. Which I’ve never actually understood — I mean yes it is true that Bat out of Hell (the song) is absurd in the same way that Suck The Blood From My Wound is, but it is sincere, and sincerity beats absurdity to death. But not it seems in the case of Meatloaf.

Todd Rundgren had something to say on the absurdity of the album:

I thought it was a parody of Bruce Springsteen. Oddly enough the world took it seriously. There’s this big, fat, operatic guy doing totally over the top, over-wrought, drawn-out songs. All this bombast. It was like Bruce Springsteen squared. I was just chuckling the whole time, and I’m still chuckling. I can’t believe the world took it seriously.

Now maybe everyone in the world who has ever said Meatloaf and Steinman are ridiculous has come to the conclusion themselves, but I have a cynical view of human creativity and I expect probably just a few people thought and said this was ridiculous independently and the rest just sort of unthinkingly followed. I mean basically if someone tells you they like Bat out of Hell they have to laugh and tell you how absurd it is in the same sentence so you know how cool they are. It’s tedious.

And one thing I really notice a lot about the claims of ridiculousness is the continual pointing out of operatic bombast, but I would like to point out that while the album was being shopped around to all the record companies that passed on it, this was being put out by a little British band and Led Zeppelin was keeping it real low key with this song.

This was the part of the 70s where T.Rex was, to use a well-chosen word, rampant. Alice Cooper was welcoming people to his nightmare, and in a few years after this album Donna Summer would release I Feel Love, another understated masterpiece. And of course Springsteen had recently come out with Born to Run, as already noted.

From reading of various sources I am forced to conclude that actually the thing that makes the album, and Meatloaf, and anything he associated with, so ridiculous to most people, was that Meatloaf was very overweight. I suppose I should do the decent thing and pass over that observation now, but I think I have to drop a polite fuck you to the people who find this album so incredibly ridiculous in comparison to the rest of the musical output of the time because oh no, a fat guy did it!

But I did already admit that well things were ridiculous didn’t I? Yes I did, lots of ridiculous stuff of the time, but Meatloaf was not singularly ridiculous. The team of him and Steinman deserve the same respect as the other acts mentioned, that is to say the respect afforded artists who are not deducted points based on a weight scale.

And with that let’s switch over to the ridiculous lyrics of the song that in an alternate Universe — Universe Theios — Meatloaf is most famous for, a song known as :

Thunder Road

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A screen door slams, Mary’s dress sways
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey, that’s me, and I want you only
Don’t turn me home again
I just can’t face myself alone again

Don’t run back inside, darling
You know just what I’m here for
So you’re scared and you’re thinking
That maybe we ain’t that young anymore
Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night
You ain’t a beauty but, hey, you’re alright
Oh, and that’s alright with me

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You can hide ‘neath your covers and study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers, throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a savior to rise from these streets
Well now I’m no hero, that’s understood
All the redemption I can offer, girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey, what else can we do now?

Ok so in this other Universe there is a treasure beyond imagining, a video of Meatloaf singing this verse

Don’t run back inside, darling
You know just what I’m here for
So you’re scared and you’re thinking
That maybe we ain’t that young anymore
Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night
You ain’t a beauty but, hey, you’re alright
Oh, and that’s alright with me

to Karla Devito

Holy shit. Listening to this really impressive recording snatched from an alternate reality I hadn’t realized it until now but of course Karla is singing on the choruses

Oh-oh, come take my hand
We’re riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh-oh, Thunder Road
Oh, Thunder Road, oh, Thunder Road
Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey, I know it’s late, we can make it if we run
Oh-oh, Thunder Road
Sit tight, take hold
Thunder Road

Only right in the middle Meatloaf and the band stops and she sings

Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey, I know it’s late, we can make it if we run

and then Meatloaf comes back in, with the band blasting away. Perhaps bombastic, but damn good.

And then the last verse, with its aural echoes of Bat out of Hell

There were ghosts in the eyes
Of all the boys you sent away
They haunt this dusty beach road
On the skeleton frames of burned out Chevrolets
They scream your name at night in the street
Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet
And in the lonely cool before dawn
You hear their engines roaring on
When you get to the porch
They’re gone on the wind
So Mary, climb in
It’s a town full of losers
I’m pulling out of here to win

and we realize that if not actually one of the losers that ‘Mary’ sent away in the earlier song, the character from that song is very like them, one of our common rock figures — the young guy with automotive power gone out of control and dying for some girl — a beautiful loser but hey, this song is about a guy who is leaving this town full of losers and is taking Mary (Karla Devito) with him.

I have to say that was a very satisfying song, I am not sure if The Boss is going to be able to beat it.

But let’s see, our song sung by the bombastic and over the top Mr. Bruce Springsteen is the classic:

Paradise by the Dashboard Light

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I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake
And there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl
Looking any better than you did
And all the kids at school
They were wishing they were me that night
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we’re glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C’mon! Hold on tight!
C’mon! Hold on tight!

Ain’t no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
’Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Ain’t no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it
Ain’t no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
’Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed

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Baby doncha hear my heart
You got it drowning out the radio
I’ve been waiting so long
For you to come along and have some fun
And I gotta let you know
No you’re never gonna regret it
So open up your eyes I got a big surprise
It’ll feel all right
Well I wanna make your motor run

You got to do what you can
And let Mother Nature do the rest
Ain’t no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
’Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely

We’re gonna go all the way tonight
We’re gonna go all the way
And tonight’s the night…
We’re gonna go all the way tonight
We’re gonna go all the way
And tonight’s the night…

OK, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here,
Two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth,
There’s the windup, and there it is, a line shot up the middle,
Look at him go. This boy can really fly! He’s rounding first and really
Turning it on now, he’s not letting up at all, he’s gonna try for
Second; the ball is bobbled out in center, and here comes the
Throw, and what a throw! He’s gonna slide in head first, here he
Comes, he’s out! No, wait, safe-safe at second base, this kid
Really makes things happen out there. Batter steps up to the
Plate, here’s the pitch-he’s going, and what a jump he’s got,
He’s trying for third, here’s the throw, it’s in the dirt-safe at
Third! Holy cow, stolen base! He’s taking a pretty big lead out
There, almost daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher
Glances over, winds up, and it’s bunted, bunted down the third
Base line, the suicide squeeze is on! Here he comes, squeeze
Play, it’s gonna be close, holy cow, I think he’s gonna make it!

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Y’know, I think the girl knows how to play this game better than the guy does!

Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
Do you need me!?
Will you never leave me!?
Will you make me happy for the rest of my life!?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife!?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?

Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I’ll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I’ll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I’ll give you an answer in the morning

I gotta know right now
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Do you love me?
And will you love me forever?

Will you love me forever?

Let me sleep on it

Will you love me forever!

It was long ago and it was far away
And it was so much better that it is today

It never felt so good
It never felt so right
And we were glowing like A metal on the edge of a knife

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This song was recorded about the same time as Sherry, Darling, in alternate Universe Balion, and has that same kind of working man’s romance going for it.

It also has the pseudo-fifties sound that was popular at the time, which Sherry, Darling sort of hinted at but which this song commits more fully too.

Of course one of the differences between this alternate Universe and our own is that Patti Scialfa dropped out and joined the E-Street Band when she was only 22, without which this song might never have been made!

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Of course, in the video for the single Scialfa is only lip-syncing to the original vocals laid down by Ellen Foley.

Things that are better than the Meatloaf version in our world:

1. Bruce singing let me sleep on it, he doesn’t sound quite so conniving as Meatloaf does, you really get the feeling that this earnest young gun of the American earth just needs to have a little nap and cogitation to figure out if he is gonna love this girl he’s trying to talk into sex until the end of time — which is what makes him so dangerous, ladies!
2. Bruce singing “We’re gonna go all the way, tonight” s with the same kind of entitlement which in our Universe he used on the line — — “From your front porch to my front seat
   The door’s open but the ride ain’t free”
3. In concert some of the E-Street band would mime a pretend baseball game during the baseball interlude — a game they are evidently ardent fans of

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So which is Best?

I suppose that answer will vary for everyone, for me the Meatloaf version just barely edges out The Boss, but that owes a lot to Karla Devito. I mean how can you not love Meatloaf singing “you ain’t a beauty but hey you’re alright..” to Karla, what an ego!

Interesting aspects that cross both Universes

Of course in the Universe where Meatloaf does Thunder Road he also did Paradise by the Dashboard Light, and Bat out of Hell, and in the Universe where Bruce does Paradise by the Dashboard Light he also did Thunder Road.

There is a real thematic match between Paradise by the Dashboard Light and Thunder Road, we could conceive of Paradise before praying for the end of time happening somewhere in between the line “the ride it ain’t free” and “I’m pulling out of here to win” with the ironic thing being that while he thinks he is pulling out there to win, he has made the vow to love Mary to the end of time, and as such he is pulling out of there a bigger loser than any of the boys she turned away. Indeed the ride wasn’t free, but he was the one who had to pay! HAH.

Obviously this adds another layer of interpretation to maybe you’re scared we ain’t that young anymore, in some versions they leave that line out in others they play around with it. In one version Springsteen plays it like he’s divorced from Mary (that is to say he broke his vow and didn’t wait to the end of time) but now he’s back again because he can’t quit her. Which really, his ouevre does involve a lot of nostalgia about some girl he had sex with back at the end of high school. The characters he portrays are often reliving their glory days.

Both bands in both universes take advantage of this fact and the multiple layering of ironies to do incredible medleys of the hits intercut with each other, but again here Meatloaf comes out slightly ahead because in Universe Theios he also has Bat out of Hell to play around with (remember all those losers Mary turned away, Batboy was one of those losers!) and of course Jim Steinman to help craft just the right level of “operatic bombast” to tie all these songs together.

This article was written by IG Agents 19 and 9.

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