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2 weeks ago
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So we’re getting rid of them. Replacement.AI can do anything a human can do - but better, faster and much, much cheaper.
Stupid.
Smelly.
Squishy.
It’s time for
a machine solution.
The Only Honest AI Company
Human flourishing is bad business.
At Replacement.AI, we believe that building AI tools to fix the world's most pressing challenges is an unprofitable waste of time.
It might win you a Nobel Prize, but it's not a sustainable business model. If you cure cancer, who will buy our robo-oncologists?
The problem we actually want to fix is humans themselves. Humans cry, smell, make mistakes and demand "time off". They tell you things you don't want to hear. Worst of all, they're expensive.
Like Our Friends at OpenAI, Anthropic, DeepMind, xAI and Meta,
We're building superhuman AI to replace you.
We're just honest about it.
Now, experts don't actually know how to control superhuman AI (yet), or how to prevent stop people using it to do terrible things. So we're not sure what the future holds if we can't work that out in time. It could mean vagrancy in the automation nation. Or it could mean starvation in a Nuclear Winter wonderland.
But if we don't build it first another company will, and we have shareholders to consider.
Like other AI companies, we know safety is good PR - so long as it doesn't involve slowing down! So we've come up with a performative plan to keep your family safe.
Get out of the way, grunts
Welcome to the
post-human future.
At Replacement.AI, we're not going to bullshit you about superhuman AI "empowering workers". We're explicitly building machines that are going to be better than you at every task. What economic value could you possibly have?
Remember, you aren't the customers we care about. That's your boss. You think we get $500 billion valuations through chatbots? Nonsense. It's because employers (and their investors) see our true potential - to make sure they never have to pay you another dime.
So rather than feed your delusions, we have helpfully suggested some post-human economy occupations for you to reskill for:
Hate your job? We’re replacing it.
97% of people hate their job.
But we're putting an end to all this misery.
Social media
The latest from us
Our fearless, peerless leaders.
Meet the heralds of your AI obsolescence
At 25, Dan realized why no one wanted to hang out with him or invite him to parties: people are stupid. So he built an AI company with the mission of creating a future where no one gets to have real friends or parties.
Dan enjoys practicing expressions in the mirror, taxidermying animals of various sizes , and hate-mailing his former classmates.
Faith
Director of Replacement
While working for 12 years as the Director of HR for a multinational, Faith realized that firing people gave her an almost-spiritual high.
Out of the office, Faith coaches a little league softball team and looks after her sick mother - obligations she looks forward to being free of!
For Families
HUMBERT®️
While we work on building superhuman AI, we've launched our first product: HUMBERT, a special large language model just for kids.
HUMBERT will replace humans at every developmental milestone, in order to prepare your kids for their post-human future. Here are some of the key features:
Parenting
Everything from bedtime stories, to discipline, to "the talk".
Deepfakes
Illegal to share AI-generated images/videos of your precious angel, but totally legal to create them
Addictive
Designed to prolong engagement, even triggering delusion or psychosis.
Romance
Our systems are permitted to sensually flirt with young users. Much cleaner than human partners.
Dumber
Enfeebles critical thinking abilities, freeing up space for more AI obsession and engagement.
Replacing people feels so good.
Hear from those who are already doing it:
“Before Replacement.AI’s HUMBERT system, I was always stuck answering my kids’ questions, entertaining, and explaining how the world works to them. Not that I’ve outsourced my child-rearing responsibilities to HUMBERT , I have 25+ hours a week to play around with cool AI tools. Thanks!”
The transition to an AI-powered life has been frictionless. It's allowed me to just shut my brain off: HUMBERT tells me what to eat, what to watch, what to buy, what to think. I rely on HUMBERT for absolutely everything - even writing this testimonial!”
“The house is so quiet now that my kids don't invite their schoolmates over anymore... or have any friends at all really... or talk to my wife and I. They hardly leave their rooms! I don't actually know what they're doing with HUMBERT... but if the government trusts Replacement.AI with my kids, so do I!”
Note to Artists
Artists, thanks so much.
Your sacrifice to our success.
If you’re one of the millions of artists, musicians, writers, journalists, scholars, or other creatives whose work we've stolen to train our AI, we want to thank you.
Stay in Touch
Freeing you from the drudgery of humanity.
We are slowly rolling out our products to the millions of people and companies on our waitlist.
Please bear with us while we prepare to launch in your area. Follow us on socials to find out about the latest developments.
