Say Goodbye

In this time of increasing layoffs, there’s one thing you should do as a survivor. Okay, there’s many things you should do, but one thing in particular.

Say goodbye.

When you hear someone you know is let go, send them a message. If you have their email address, send them an email from your personal account. If you don’t, connect on LinkedIn or another social network.

The day or two after they are gone, send them a message like this:

“Hi <firstname>, sorry to hear you and <company> parted ways. I appreciated your efforts and wish you the best!”

Of course, tune that to how you interacted with them. If you only saw them briefly but they were always positive, something like this:

“Hi <firstname>, sorry to hear you and <company> parted ways. I appreciated your positive attitude. I wish you the best!”

Or, if you only knew them through one project, something like this:

“Hi <firstname>, sorry to hear you and <company> parted ways. It was great to work on <project> with you. I wish you the best!”

You should do this for a number of reasons.

It is a kind gesture to someone you know who is going through a really hard time. (I wrote more about that.) Being laid off is typically extremely difficult. When it happens, you are cut off from a major source of identity, companionship, and financial stability all at once. Extending a kindness to someone you know who is in that spot is just a good thing to do. It reaffirms both your and their humanity.

It also doesn’t take much time; it has a high impact to effort ratio.

There may be benefits down the road, such as them remembering you kindly and helping you out in the future. The industry is small–I’m now working with multiple people who I’ve worked with at different companies in the past.

But the main reason to do this is to be a good human being.

Now, the list of don’ts:

• Don’t offer to help if you can’t or won’t. I only offer to help if I know the person well and feel like the resources and connections I have might help them.
• Don’t trash your employer, nor respond if they do. If they start that, say “I’m sorry, I can imagine why you’d feel that way, but I can’t continue this conversation.”. Note I’ve never had someone do this.
• Don’t feel like you have continue the conversation if they respond. You can if you want, but don’t feel obligated.
• Don’t state you are going to keep in touch, unless you plan to.
• Don’t say things that might cause you trouble like “wish we could have kept you” or “you were such a great performer, I don’t know why they laid you off”. You don’t know the full details and you don’t want to expose yourself or your company to any legal issues.
• Finally, don’t do this if you are the manager who laid them off. There’s too much emotional baggage there. You were their manager and you couldn’t keep them on. They almost certainly don’t want to hear from you.

Be a good human being. When someone gets laid off, say goodbye.