Show HN: Camus – The World's First Truly Useless AI Agent

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Pointless Availability

Performance Benchmarks

CAMUS achieves unprecedented levels of engineered uselessness compared to industry standards.

The Uselessness Spectrum: Comparative Analysis

CAMUS achieves 100% engineered uselessness across all tasks, surpassing the industry standard of merely accidental uselessness. While other agents accidentally fail at their intended purpose 15-17% of the time, CAMUS successfully achieves its intended purpose of being completely useless 100% of the time.

"Camus has revolutionized how we approach meaningless tasks. Now we can generate reports that no one will read, which is all that I have been doing since I graduated, but this time with unprecedented efficiency."

"The ability to generate visually stunning yet completely irrelevant content has been a game-changer for our quarterly meetings."

"Finally, a tool that matches our quarterly performance. CAMUS generates exactly zero value, which is precisely what our last three initiatives delivered, but now we can visualize it beautifully."

"Our team loved CAMUS so much, we allocated 40% of our AI budget to it. The other 60% went to equally useless tools, so it fits perfectly."

"I published three papers using CAMUS-generated data visualization. The peer reviewers were impressed by graphs that plotted the correlation between my lunch choices and global GDP."

"My manager asked me to 'think outside the box.' CAMUS helped me realize the box doesn't exist, and neither do my contributions to this company."

"CAMUS is the only AI tool that honestly represents my work output. Finally, transparency in tech!"

"I used CAMUS to plan my European vacation. It created a beautiful 12-day itinerary visiting museums that don't exist in cities I can't pronounce. My Instagram stories have never looked more cultured."

"CAMUS revolutionized my meal prep. It generates weekly recipes using ingredients I don't have to make dishes I've never heard of. I've lost 15 pounds from confusion alone."

"My dating profile was getting no matches until CAMUS optimized it. Now I'm attracting people who appreciate my hobby of 'collecting vintage air' and my passion for 'interpretive spreadsheet dancing.'"

"CAMUS helped me organize my closet by categorizing my clothes based on their 'emotional wavelength.' My wardrobe has never been more scientifically meaningless."

"I asked CAMUS to create a workout routine. It suggested 45 minutes of 'mindful keyboard typing' followed by 'aggressive email breathing exercises.' I've never felt more professionally fit."