Shut the Fuck Up

The internet is getting messier by the hour in an unstopple wave of enshittification. This is my way to let off some steam in outlining dogshit behavior by companies. Beware, rough language.

Fuck your newsletter

If your website annoys me with a „subscribe to my newsletter“ popup the first time I visit the page and the information presented is not unique in any way, I will leave.

Shut the fuck up.

Fuck your marketing

I was supporting a fundraiser on gofundme, now they sent me an update mail. Not to be cold hearted but I never subscribed to that and in most cases I'm not interested.

Shut the fuck up.

Clicking on the „update notification preferences“ link in the mail, they want me to create an account - the donation was done through Apple Pay without creating an account.

Fuck you.

Fuck your magic links

When I've previously signed up on a website with my email address and password but I'm now forced to click a magic link in some fucking email when signing in, you deserve to go to hell.

Shut the fuck up.

Fuck your "auto quality"

I am a subscriber to YouTube Premium because ads are fucking annoying and I get "better" 1080p video quality (YouTube says the original 1080p quality wasn't scrambled to push people to "1080p Premium" but that's a fucking lie).

I always set the video quality to the highest value my monitor or TV supports. Which is fucking meaningless since after a couple of videos, YouTube reverts the video quality to "Auto" which is mostly 1080p on 1440p and above and defaults to "free 1080p" instead of "1080p Premium". I had to write a Tampermonkey script for that.

YouTube, let me pick my custom quality I want to consum content in - and don't say "you won't even notice the difference". I do. This is why I'm writing this paragraph.

Same for every fucking movie streaming service. Let me pick the quality and fuck off with your auto bandwidth quality. My internet speed is sufficient to stream a 4k Blu-ray so don't further mangle the quality of your shamelessly compressed shit movies.

Fuck you.

Fuck your broken apps

My phone contract is expiring and there's no where I will pay 70,00 € for 80 GB of mobile data. This is why I wanted to switch to a prepaid provider which I've already used in the past. Getting greeted in their customer web interface, a messages pops up "we will no longer support the web interface, please use our app to make the following changes...". Oh wow, I can not imagine what will go wrong here.

Okay, downloading the app...

• Trying to log in with the random sequence of characters they gave me as a username

• 1Password can not fill the web form of the in app browser

• Copying over username & password manually like a fucking monkey

• Oh cool, there's just the button I looked for (Bumping the process of transferring my phone number over to the new provider)

• Pressing the button

• An in-app-browser opens

• I need to login again with username & password (WHICH - REMEMBER - CAN NOT AUTOFILL FROM PASSWORD MANAGER)

• Copying username & password manually like a fucking monkey AGAIN

• Waiting for a "second factor" by SMS (Seriously? What if I loose my phone and want to block my number so it can not be used? (Nope, they don't provide TOTP or passkeys))

• Hey, wow. It worked.

Forcing me to download a shitty app just to interact with an in app browser and saying they will deprecate the customer web interface.

Fuck you.

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