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Friday afternoon. Production is down. An old backend component nobody owns is failing.
A lightbulb goes off: a few months ago you mentored Oliver, a backend engineer in another team, when he upgraded that very component for a security patch.
You ping him. He’s packing up for the weekend but answers because you saved him hours back then. Five minutes later he spots the issue and ships a fix.
That’s social capital: past help turned into instant, high-stakes support no process could have matched.
Social capital is the trust, credibility, and relationships you build with the people you work with. It’s the “social currency” that helps you influence decisions, collaborate smoothly, and move work forward, even when you don’t have formal authority.
Just like financial capital buys tools and resources, social capital buys belief and support.
Tanya Reilly, author of The Staff Engineer’s Path, one of my favourite books, outlines what engineers need to succeed: energy, credibility, quality of life, skills, and social capital.
Think of it like a bank account; you make regular deposits of trust and goodwill so you can draw on them when it matters most:
Deposits: Quick PR reviews, sharing documentation, mentoring colleagues, nominating peers for kudos.
Withdrawals: Asking for urgent approvals, securing headcount, driving high-risk migrations.
A healthy balance can support large withdrawals. But when it’s empty, even critical requests may be ignored.
Social capital takes time to accumulate. It grows from simple, consistent behaviors that build integrity, add value, and keep your work visible. Think of it in three parts:
Trust: Keep your word and tell the truth even when it is uncomfortable. Follow through on commitments, surface risks early, and own your mistakes. Colleagues back engineers they can count on.
Credibility: Pair solid execution with clear communication. Show your reasoning, share data, and keep learning. When others see you as competent and thoughtful, they seek your input.
Relationships: Invest in people. Offer help without keeping score, celebrate wins, and build rapport beyond day-to-day tasks. Strong ties across teams let you unblock work, find advocates, and amplify impact.
Ignore one of these and your capital fades. Practice all three and you’ll earn trust, support, and influence that grows over time, like compound interest. The small deposits you make consistently can grow into career-changing impact.
Real social capital is built on visible contributions, shared wins, and mutual trust. Favoritism and nepotism rely on bias and closed doors. One rewards effort and credibility; the other protects an inner circle.
Use social capital to lift colleagues, bridge teams, and widen opportunity for everyone. If you find yourself in a company where promotions hinge on favoritism, you face a simple fork in the road:
Stay and accept the ceiling. Your growth will slow, and any promotion may come down to ugly politics, not performance.
Leave for a healthier culture. Find a company that rewards both results and genuine relationships.
Choose the path that preserves your values, your integrity, and your long-term growth.
“Titles do matter, and so do growth and career progression.”
— Tanya Reilly, The Staff Engineer’s Path
High-agency engineers move fast, take ownership, and push boundaries. They don’t wait for permission; they solve problems, clear roadblocks, and drive impact. But without strong relationships to support them, their efforts can stall. Mountains rarely move alone.
This is what I call the lone genius ceiling. You’re doing great work, but it doesn’t go far if no one’s aligned or aware. When high agency meets low social capital, you burn out fighting uphill battles. When the two combine, influence multiplies and you become a force that shifts entire systems.
This matrix shows the difference:
Low agency + low social capital → Overlooked Executor
High agency + low social capital → Lone Wolf, Stalled by Politics
Low agency + high social capital → Reliable Partner
High agency + high social capital → Org-Changing Force
You want to operate in the top-right as an org-changing force. That’s where agency turns from effort into leverage. And that’s exactly where social capital does its best work.
High-agency engineers multiply their impact by investing in social capital. — Rafa Páez
Remote work has eliminated the casual hallway chat, but it also creates an opportunity: relationship-building can now be intentional, inclusive, and distributed across time zones.
Here are a few small but powerful habits to build connection and visibility:
Schedule weekly 30-minute virtual coffees with teammates, especially outside your direct group.
Post short Loom videos to demo features or explain decisions. These scale context without needing a meeting.
Send “Friday Gratitude” messages to spotlight and thank those who helped you during the week.
Keep cameras on briefly at the start of meetings to preserve some human presence, then allow flexibility.
Remote and async teams don’t bond by chance. They bond because someone makes the first move. That someone can be you.
Social capital pays off only when you put it to work, so use it where the payoff is real. Tap your network to push key architecture decisions, secure extra headcount, or shield your team when deadlines tighten and scope creeps.
Watch for signs your balance is running low:
Replies to your messages slow down
Meeting invites disappear
People hesitate before helping
Pay down debt by delivering on previous promises, giving public credit, and asking “What can I do for you?” before the next withdrawal.
Spending and refilling are a rhythm. Neglect either side and you risk burnout or silence just when you need allies most.
The way you build and use social capital changes as your career progresses.
Junior engineers start with credibility and connection. Learn names, ask thoughtful questions, and land visible wins so teammates trust both your curiosity and your code.
Mid level engineers widen their circle. Share hard-earned tips, give lightning talks, and review code for neighbors in other squads. Influence grows when the help you offer travels farther than your assigned ticket.
Senior and Staff engineers turn relationships into alliances. Align roadmaps, broker trade-offs between departments, and sponsor rising talent. By now your reputation helps steer decisions that touch the whole organisation.
Managers move from personal capital to team capital. Tactics worth a quick scan:
Hold skip level chats to build trust across layers
Rotate project leads so visibility and credit circulate
Celebrate cross team wins to raise the team’s profile
Act like a social router that links networks, and the entire group gains speed and resilience.
Small, consistent actions build social capital more effectively than grand gestures. Here’s a simple weekly routine to embed those habits into your workday:
Monday
Micro-Habit: Post a short recap of last week’s achievements
Pillars: Trust, Credibility
Tuesday
Micro-Habit: Offer help on a PR outside your team
Pillars: Relationships, Credibility
Wednesday
Micro-Habit: Schedule a virtual coffee with someone new
Pillars: Relationships
Thursday
Micro-Habit: Document and share a recent learning
Pillars: Credibility
Friday
Micro-Habit: Publicly thank a collaborator
Pillars: Trust
Consistent tiny deposits are like compound interest. Each interaction, thank-you, or bit of help adds to your balance. Over time, that balance grows into something others can't ignore.
Social capital is not optional. It is the hidden engine behind influence, execution, and support when it matters most.
But social capital alone isn't enough. Without agency, it goes unused. And without social capital, agency burns out. You need both to create lasting influence and momentum.
Together, they multiply. You move faster, gain buy-in, and bring others with you.
Start small. Pick one habit from the playbook. Share a quick win. Review a teammate’s pull request. Thank someone in public. These small actions build trust, credibility, and relationships.
Over time, they do more than move work forward.
They move you forward.
Your future self, and your future team, will feel the difference.
Thanks for reading The Engineering Leader. 🙏
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👋 Let’s keep in touch. Connect with me on LinkedIn.
