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4 months ago
3
It’s been nearly two years since I moved from being an Individual Contributor (IC) to a Tech Lead Manager (TLM) - a hybrid role that combines the responsibilities of a manager with those of a senior engineer.
When I was offered the role, I reached out to a few friends at companies that had TLMs. Their advice was nearly unanimous:
“It’s a trap.”
Clearly, that gave me pause. But also - of course it’s a trap. It’s all the responsibility of a manager and of an individual contributor.
And yet… here I am. Two years later. Still doing it.
Why on earth would I want to do two jobs? How did I survive?
It’s About Balance (But Not the Kind You Think)
When I was first told about the role, I was assured it would be a 50/50 split: half people management, half engineering. That felt doable.
Then, a few weeks in, someone from Talent casually dropped a bomb:
“It’s actually supposed to be 80% engineering.”
Wait… WHAAAT?
At the time, I was spending most of my day trying to learn how to be a good manager - running 1:1s, writing performance reviews, dealing with people problems I didn’t yet have the language for. It was probably 80% management. Hearing that number made me feel like I was failing at both sides of the job.
What I didn’t know - and wish someone had told me - was two important things:
1. Management is a completely different job
The skills you picked up churning out code all day? Almost none of them prepare you for people management. The common wisdom is that when you hit Staff or Senior Staff, you’re already in meetings all day influencing across the org, and that this makes you manager-ready.
This is a lie.
Sure, you can’t be completely oblivious to people’s feelings as a Staff Engineer. But if someone on your project isn’t pulling their weight? You escalate to their manager, and it’s no longer your problem.
As a TLM, that manager is you.
Got someone who’s been rude to a coworker? Your problem. Someone who thinks they’re Engineer of the Century but can’t ship? Yep. Also your problem. Time to put on the manager hat and deal with it.
2. The role is a dynamic balance, not a fixed one
Some days, you’re 100% Senior Staff Engineer - deep in design docs, writing code, helping your team navigate complexity. Other days, you’re 100% manager - doing career check-ins, writing promo packets, and figuring out how to help someone who’s quietly disengaging.
Most days, it’s a mix. The slider is always moving.
The trick is recognizing that the slider only goes to 100%. You can’t do both jobs at 100% simultaneously - something has to give. You need to know when to pull back on engineering to be there for your team, and when to lean in technically because the project needs it.
The Right Team Makes or Breaks the Role
Being a TLM only works if you have the right team and the right scope. If you’re managing too many people, you won’t have time to provide technical leadership. If the team can’t ship without you, you’ll end up back in the code full-time - and neglecting their needs as a manager.
I’ve had between three and four reports during my time as a TLM, and that feels about right. More than five, and I’d start to drop balls. Less than three, and it starts to feel like you’re not really managing at all.
It also only works if your team is technically strong. If they’re blocked unless you’re writing the code, something’s off - and not sustainable. Your job is to make them better, not to be the hero.
Surprises and Tradeoffs
There have been a few surprises along the way.
People start treating you differently
When I became a manager, even a hybrid one, some teammates became more formal. Others stopped looping me in on purely technical conversations. It was disorienting. You’re still the same person - but your perceived role has shifted.
The feedback loop is longer
As an IC, you get the rush of shipping something, solving a gnarly bug, or improving performance. As a manager, the wins come slower - like seeing someone you mentored thrive, or resolving tension on the team. It’s rewarding, but the dopamine hits are less frequent.
There will be weeks where both hats are on fire
Maybe there’s a production incident and someone’s performance is tanking. You have to triage: What’s most urgent? What needs to be delegated? What can wait? That’s one of the hardest skills to build - prioritizing not just within a job, but across two different jobs.
Staying Technical Without Being a Bottleneck
I still write code - but I’m intentional about how I do it. I avoid core business logic, and focus on internal tooling, glue code, or pairing sessions. I try not to be on the critical path. I review PRs, attend design reviews, and give technical feedback.
You have to walk a fine line between being “hands-on” and “in the way.”
The goal isn’t to be the best engineer on the team - it’s to build a team where you don’t have to be.
Evolving in the Role
The TLM path isn’t just a stepping stone - it’s a valid, sustainable, and often deeply rewarding long-term role for the right kind of engineer-leader.
Some TLMs eventually lean more into management. Others stay technically involved for the long haul. Some find ways to grow both skill sets in parallel.
For me, TLM has been the most challenging and satisfying role of my career. I get to architect systems and help people grow. I get to help my team deliver ambitious projects and build a healthy culture.
Would I Recommend It?
Yes - with caveats.
If you love building things and developing people, the TLM role can be incredibly rewarding. You get to shape architecture and shape careers. But it’s not for everyone.
If you struggle to say no, hate context-switching, or need clear separation between technical and people work - you may find it exhausting.
And if your company doesn’t support the role - if they expect 100% manager and 100% tech lead all the time - it’s a recipe for burnout.
But if the stars align? You might find, like I did, that it’s the hardest job you’ll ever love.
