The Founder Shadow

When I look back at Meet-Ting’s progress since April, it’s quite remarkable, and if feels good to type that.

Even in a world where AI startup momentum can trick you into believing companies generate $10M ARR overnight, the truth is: almost every “overnight success” has a 12-month story before it.

On our small journey so far, we’ve built the product (getting better - still a long way to go), joined the Google AI program, raised from supportive and successful top angels, hired talented engineers, got randomly picked up by Steven Bartlett early on his podcast, passed 550+ users just last week, improved AI accuracy to 90% (from a very buggy start), went viral via one of Instagram’s biggest AI communities, and attracted enough VC interest to feel confident about what’s next.

But, wait, why share the wins like this. It feels… indulgent?

Soft signalling?

Not quite.

It’s for editorial contrast. Self-promo goes against every fibre of my British being (I’m often ‘told off’ for not doing a better job of talking myself and the team up in pitches).

I’m typing this out loud because: wins only feel special when you can celebrate them with the people you love.

There’s a dilemma I’ve been thinking about - what, at least mentally, I picture as, the founder shadow.

You can replace “founder” with anything really - anyone in a big pitch, a stretch project, or a season of overwork.

As you shine brighter, push harder, and dedicate focus to the mission, you also cast a shadow on other parts of your life.

I remember running with a founder friend once in Hyde Park. He’d just secured massive distribution for his B2B product - basically a guaranteed path to growth and revenue.

I said, “You must be so happy you left your company to do this now.”

He smiled and said, “I’d never recommend becoming a founder to anyone.”

I didn’t really understand it then. I also didn’t probe.

I do now.

Last week, same vibe. I was chatting with an old friend - part just about how I’ve been feeling, part with this piece in mind.

Her dad was an entrepreneur, so she grew up around it her whole life. And then she said something that hit different:

“Founders have to be a little naive to start - otherwise, they’d never do it.”

And she’s right. Because it’s really, really hard.

You have to force something new into existence, solve a problem no one’s solved before, get people to care, raise capital, build a product from zero - all while pretending you’re fine.

I used to take for granted the shoulders I stood on at adidas, WPP, and ByteDance - the 0.001% of companies that actually make it.

And behind every one of them? Founders and leaders whose dedication cast large shadows too.

I’ve always been someone who gets a lot back from work.
Churchill once said he got more from alcohol than it got from him.

Maybe addiction is the right metaphor.
Because for many of us - founders, builders, or just ambitious people - work can feel like that.

I’ve chased roles across the world as far as China, always focused on the next milestone, often letting family and loved ones play the supporting role.

But that’s the real dilemma:
When things go really well, who do you want to tell?
And if they go amazingly well - will those same people still be there to tell?

When a post went viral about us recently, we were hitting new users every minute.

Slack notifications were flying. It was wild.
And the logical person to share it with was my wife.

She was happy for me, of course - but her life has other things to be excited about.

Even if (in my totally biased opinion) “AI that trades your time” might just be the next Steve Jobs moment.

The real work, beyond the startup, is learning how to burn bright without letting the shadow grow too dark.

Here are a few things that help me (when I actually manage to follow them):

• Make the small hours count. Even if you work long ones, switch off properly when you’re home.

• Protect one “loved one night” a week. No excuses - many of the best founders do this.

• Take at least one day off. My best ideas come when I’m away from the desk, not staring at my laptop.

• Don’t compromise your health. Run, walk, move - I’ve even set up voice dictation so I can capture ideas mid-run.

• If life gets in the way of work, pause. It’s a bad path if you don’t.

• Keep conversations balanced. When work isn’t your only topic, the highs feel higher.

• Practice mental presence. A recent wedding with no signal reminded me how good it feels to just be human again.

Of course, I fail at most of these regularly.
It’s always easier to coach others than yourself.

But maybe that’s the point - you can’t remove the shadow entirely.
You just have to notice it, manage it, and make sure it doesn’t block out the people and life moments that matter most.

Now, back to work… because, you know, it never ends.

Thanks for reading,
-Dan
Chief Ting