Tours of Hell – tickets at a reasonable price

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As you know Illuminati Ganga has its grubby long clawlike hands inside lots of pies, flicking whatever buttons it encounters along the way, and one of those pies is the pie of HELL!

Specifically tourism in HELL! Nowadays of course, tours to hell are not selling as well as they used to — this is because of the whole zeitgeist having a moment where most everybody is working tirelessly on making a Hell on Earth.

But humanity’s loss is your gain and our big discount sale is going on right now for tickets to visit the actual hell! Which is, believe me, the original nice place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there.

And of course, let’s face it — People love hell. Hell is a place where people get what they deserve, everybody loves to see people getting what they deserve, nobody likes to get what they deserve, hence “original nice place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there”

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Anyway we’ve got a lot of history with hell, and Illuminati Ganga agents and businesses set up at a lot of the best entrances too!

For example not many people know it but we have a controlling interest in The Cafe of Thermopylae

A wonderful location near the Hot Gates by which you can enter into the underworld, shame however that the toilets are so often out of order.

Illuminati Ganga has a very nice map showing the locations of the entrances to hell that we offer tours from

As you will notice most of these entrances are in Greece and Italy, two cultures that knew the benefits of a good tourist destination from the start.

If you want to take a tour of Hell please contact Illuminati Ganga at your earliest convenience, as these things can take a bit of time to set up.

If you would like to read a bit more about some of the celebrities and interesting devils you will meet on one of our tours please read the following:

Remember Hell is a Nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there.

(but let’s be serious here, you’re reading Illuminati Ganga so you probably are going to end up living there — maybe take an inexpensive tour and scout out the most desirable locations for your afterlife — think about it)

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This article was written by IG Agent 6, the author of The Vaults of Fug (affiliate link below):

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