You misunderstand what it means to be poor

The more I speak about being poor, the more I realize how fundamentally other folks misunderstand what it means to be poor versus being broke. The advice folks will give comes from a good place. However, I would like to give some examples to help everyone understand most advice from non-poor folks isn’t helpful.

Everyone has experienced being broke. Being broke sucks. You are watching every dollar spent, finding wayys to trim or make things stretch until the next payday. The difference is when you are broke you have some money. You can afford to put gas in your car, but not enough to do that repair. Money is tight, but you can get the basics at the grocery store. You can’t afford to go to the movies, but will stay home and watch what’s new on Netflix. Being broke sucks. You are watching every dollar spent, finding ways to trim or make things stretch until the next payday.

When you are poor that next payday brings no relief. It is like an endless runner game. No matter how fast you run or how high you jump you can never see the finish line. No matter how tired you are the ground keeps moving. There is no room for errors as the punishment for mistakes is astronomical. When you hit an obstacle you don’t restart from the last checkpoint, you go back to the beginning.

There is this mindset from folks that poor people must not be smart. I mean, you’re smart and you’re not poor! The problem must be a skill issue! Learn the skills to do it yourself and you’ll be able to pull yourself up.

The other mindset is poor people are lazy. Quit complaining and do it yourself! Just get a better job! Get a second job! There’s money out there, you just have to go get it.

The last is these folks think they understand what it is like to be poor. Hey, I was a broke college student and I get being poor! I had a rough patch, it will pass.

Let’s start at the top.

I have a van that is falling apart. It needs a lot of work that we cannot afford to do. In the mindset that poor people are unskilled, it appears that I should watch some YouTube videos, get the parts, and do it myself. The misunderstanding is that being poor means you have tons and tons of skills. You have to fix everything yourself. There is never, I mean never, a time you can pay someone to fix it for you.

In this example folks think, “If the repair at the shop costs $1,000, but the parts cost $300, you can save a lot of money doing it yourself.” You are absolutely correct. Yet, I still need to be able to afford the $300 in parts.

Do you see the misunderstanding? I can’t make $300 appear out of thin air. I have the skills, I’ve had to fix all my cars myself. I’ve done complete engine rebuilds, I’ve replaced transmissions, I do all my own regular maintenance. The problem isn’t skills, its money. When you are broke, spending $300 instead of $1,000 sounds like a win because you can’t afford the $1,000. When you’re poor $300 might as well be $1,000 or $10,000, you will never afford it.

This is not a matter of time, either. I can’t put aside money each month and then get it. There is never money to put aside. I can’t put it on the credit card as I know I will never be able to pay it. I’ll just have this $300 debt looming over me, increasing with interest every month, mocking how much of a loser I am.

The second mindset: Being lazy.

How do I have the time to work multiple jobs when I’m doing all this extra work? How do I have the time when in my extra time I’m fixing cars, appliances, the roof, and cooking every meal from scratch?

Should I work a second job and never see my wife? My kids? Should I never have any personal time? Should my entire life revolve around money? Should I kill myself for capitalism?

Folks who say things like this have only ever experienced being broke. It is a temporary situation and a few months of extra income will solve the problem. Being poor is not missing $1,000 or $10,000 in the short term. It’s missing $40,000 a year, every year, forever. There is no short term relief. This isn’t a rough patch. It is The Pit in The Dark Knight Rises.

“There’s a reason why this prison is the worst hell on earth… Hope. Every man who has rotted here over the centuries has looked up to the light and imagined climbing to freedom. So easy… So simple… And like shipwrecked men turning to sea water from uncontrollable thirst, many have died trying. I learned here that there can be no true despair without hope.”

Yes, it is possible to escape. Hell, two people have done it! Why can’t you do it! But you are completely ignoring how many people have fallen to their death trying.

All of the general guidance to escape being poor is actually advice for getting through being broke.

• Cancel Netflix
• Make food at home
• Stop going to Starbucks
• Fix it yourself
• Don’t upgrade your phone

These are all things that will help you temporarily. It will help you get through a short period of being broke. Or it will help you get your spending under control. You have enough money, you just don’t spend it wisely.

Being poor is you already did all those things. You cancelled all your streaming services years ago. You make all your food from scratch all the time. You never go to fucking Starbucks. You fix everything yourself. You already stretch everything to the limit. That is how you have to live every day of your life, for eternity, with no relief in sight.

Last example and is pertinent to our times in the US. A lot of poor folks are having to stand in line for hours and hours to get food at a food bank due to goverment ineptitude. The advice to simply cook at home doesn’t fix that there isn’t any food at home.

Do you honestly think people standing in line at a food bank could fix their situation if they stopped getting DoorDash? Going to Starbucks? Fuck off. They weren’t doing that already.

How are they to get another job or put in extra hours if they have to stand in line for 3 hours to get food? Should they go without food until they get that job and the paycheck?

You need to step aside and think about the differences between being broke and being poor.

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Thank you for reading! If you would like to comment on this post you can start a conversation on the Fediverse. Message me on Mastodon at @[email protected]. Or, you may email me at [email protected]. This is an intentionally masked email address that will be forwarded to the correct inbox.