Criminal Management Division Quarterly Goals

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Illuminati Ganga’s Criminal Management Division (CMD, affectionately known as COMMAND) released a new report for the quarter we’re in now a few weeks ago, I’m getting around to reporting on it now basically because my schedule has been somewhat cramped, but also because it took a while for me to let it all soak in and to think about it, and looking at the current political situation I think it is a remarkably prescient work.

Obviously Illuminati Ganga is one of the pre-eminent criminal organizations in the world, but I think they are also, and this is somewhat surprising in such a large organization, one of the most forward-thinking and innovative.

The report is over 211 pages long, not counting the footnotes, so obviously in this article I am going to go through just some of the more interesting parts of the report, noting important recommendations and insights regarding the criminal economy.

1). Recommended: Increase Bank Robberies Near Term

The report notes the current state of FBI manpower assignment is heavily skewed towards Immigration enforcement

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2025/10/08/fbi-agents-reassigned-immigration/

which means that obviously criminal investigations that generally get FBI assistance now will be underserved.

This is seen as an opportunity and the report recommends increases in the following lucrative criminal areas:

1. Bank Burglary
2. Bank Fraud
3. Bank Larceny
4. Bank Robbery — I put especial note on the Bank Robbery part because CMD had the following observations:

The United States in the near future will probably see a major economic upheaval similar in some respects to the Great Depression in that there will be lots of displaced farmers, inflation, low employment and similar difficulties. This environment is of course one in which bank robbery thrives not just because banks are where the money is but because sticking it to the bankers is where the glamour and glory are. We have underserved the bank robbery segment of our criminal organizations in the past few years, and as such we have a deficit of trained bank robbers, this is a good time to grow and nurture the next generation of Dillingers!

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The report also notes that with the movement towards phasing out cash which will be a major benefit to government control, it follows that we should try to gather and invest as much cash now as can be gotten because in another decade it might no longer be feasible to rob banks in the old-fashioned way that made America great.

Definitely food for thought.

2). Negotiate Financial Fraud Remedies More Aggressively

Obviously Illuminati Ganga divisions often commit various minor bits of financial fraud and it is traditional to turn over the planning of potential fraud to CMD because they have the expertise.

Often a financial fraud by a large organization is not expected to be gotten away with, at least not indefinitely, instead it is assumed that one will eventually be caught and then pay a fine as a “cost of doing business”.

The lowered ability of the FBI in the coming year, and presumably as long as Donald Trump is President, to handle financial fraud investigations as quickly and with its usual attention to detail opens up exciting new opportunities to reduce “the cost of doing business”

Our recommended strategy will be, contrary to past advice, at the beginning of investigations to plead out quickly, and to allow the Feds an easy win, with the understanding that the matter is dropped and that if it is not dropped that they will be in for the fight of their lives which will severely tax their already limited resources.

As FBI agents and federal prosecutors like to have wins on their record because it makes them look good, this strategy should be of benefit to all involved parties.

Our models show that this early exit strategy will allow us to hide the worst malfeasance and to plead lower fines, thereby making corporate crime more profitable than ever!

3). Go Interstate whenever possible

In the past it has been policy to try to constrain criminal enterprises in-state so as to not catch Federal attention, despite the more attractive profits and benefits of scale that going interstate offers.

But now with reduced FBI capacity operations should be scaled up and consolidated across states.

The report has an interesting theory regarding this recommendation — there is an initial downside to FBI entrance into any locally run investigation where the Feds take control and need to organize the local resources, this initial negative is traditionally offset by the massively greater resources the federal government can bring and the ability to coordinate across state lines in an interstate investigation, but no longer.

The following Illuminati Ganga Criminal Activities should be emphasized, and if you are in a project that could benefit from being one of these — go for it!

Interstate Gambling Activities
Interstate Transportation of Gambling Devices
Interstate Obscene or Harassing Telephone Calls
Interstate Transportation in Aid of Racketeering
Interstate Transportation of Lottery Tickets
Interstate Transportation of Obscene Matter
Interstate Transportation of Prison-made Goods
Interstate Transportation of Stolen Cattle
Interstate Transportation of Stolen Motor Vehicle or Aircraft
Interstate Transportation of Stolen Property
Interstate Transmission of Wagering Information
Interstate Transportation of Wagering Paraphernalia

Summary

These has been a small sampling of some of the impressively thought out recommendations in the Criminal Management Division Quarterly Goals Report, of course the report is too large to really discuss all aspects here but if you are a criminal with interest in any of the FBI related crimes already mentioned, or these below, you owe it to yourself to get hold of a copy and read it through thoroughly:

Bond Default, Bribery, Credit and/or Debt Card and Related Fraud, Extortion, Extortionate Credit Transactions, False Entries in Records of Interstate Carriers, Fraud Against the Government, Wire Fraud, Government Property — Theft, Robbery, Embezzlement, Illegal Possession, and Destruction, Impersonation, Kickback Rackets, Kidnapping, Narcotics Violations, Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations, Sabotage, Sports Bribery, Theft from Interstate Shipments, Alien Property Custodian Matters, National Bankruptcy Act, Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act of 1974

If you are a class 3 criminal associate of Illuminati Ganga or higher you can get a copy for the low price of $2000, of course the book will be in the Aesholian cypher as is the case with all official documents issued by CMD.